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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Will Texas Secede the Union.... again?


Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I received this email from one of my very dear friends, who also happens to be a very-very Texas Gal, born and bred in the country, on a ranch, in South Texas... and while this is "tongue-in-cheek", it's not too far off the beaten path of what some real Texans really think... If you doubt the truth of these words, click here to read Texas Sucession Facts. Texans are a different sort... even down here in French Lique...


* * * * * * * * * * Here's the email...

Hmmmm, let me think about this a minute.....Maybe History can repeat itself.


From The People of Texas

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action since Obama won president over McCain. We'll miss you too. Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our hands.


Here is our solution:


#1: Let Barak Obama be President of the United States . (All 49 states.)


#2: The Republic Of Texas elects it's own conservative President.So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . (We will control the space industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States .

3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it) The term "Don’t mess with Texas ," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We have a ready supply of workers. (Just open the border when we need some)

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers. (OH NO, DON'T FORGET THE LARGEST ARMY BASE IN THE FREE WORLD, FORT HOOD !!!)

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only Mr. Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Gore has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed,

The People of Texas
Have a nice day!
********************************
PS... I wasn't born in Texas, but I got his as fast as I could... *wink*wink*smile*

2 comments:

Joan said...

What I want to know is... who stabbed that steer with a flagpole?

ann said...

thats not a steer,it's Tevas.