What a title huh? Well, it's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep... So there I am, laying in bed... Ricky next to me sawing down a forest... and I start thinking about ...
Menopause...
I'll be 55 this year... in December... and I've been wishing, waiting... even praying for... the onset of menopause... Well... here it is.. it has reared it's ugly head... restless sleep; hot flashes; cold flashes; dry hair; dry skin; mood swings... Welcome to the beginning of old age... Be careful what you wish, wait and pray for.
side note: Don't worry... I'm on the natural harmone balancing therapy with my wonderful doctor... and I rarely have a "flash" anymore... and sleeping pretty well when grand-dog is at home with her mommy...Barking Dogs...
Yes, that is what woke me up this morning at 1 a.m. We're dog sitting 2-dogs for Ricky's #2 while she is in California this week... So since last Friday morning... I have been awakened no later than 6 a.m. by
"Butter" barking-barking-barking... Gosh! I'm glad I'm on vacation... otherwise I'd be sleepwalking at work... Those that know me know I hate waking up before the sun... and
I really don't like barking dogs.. (but I have to admit that
"Butter" is beginning to grow on me... )
Refusing to look in the mirror...
About 17-years ago, after a morning of volunteering at the elementary school where my daughters attended... my friend Lynne invited me to her house for lunch. Lynne was a teacher that had quit working to stay home with her two children. She volunteered at school on occasion... but mostly took care of her home and family... that was about it.
I, on the other hand, had taken a 2-year sabbatical from work when my youngest, KJ, was born... so I volunteered.. I volunteered at school, at church... I was a Girl Scout Leader, I was a Girl Scout Trainer... I was on the Board of Directors of the Girl Scout Council... I volunteered time to the gym where my oldest two daughters took tumbling and cheer leading... I drove around delivering Meals-on-Wheels every Friday...I hosted fundraiser and dinner parties... If someone was sick, I took them food, or offered to run errands... I volunteered to watch their house if they were out of town... I worked very hard to please everyone I knew...
So, while Lynne and I sat at her kitchen table... discussing all my volunteering... she gently put her hand on mine and asked...
"What emptiness in your life are you trying to fill with all these things that you're doing?"... Never had anyone seen through me so clearly and cut right to my core... Of course I denied and justified... and Lynne let it go... telling me...
"if you ever need a friend to talk to.. I am here".. and she was.
I've been thinking about Lynne a lot lately... wondering how she's doing... She went back to teaching after her children were both in high school. I haven't seen Lynne in many years... our kids grew up and we each went our separate ways. I'd like to see her again, to tell her
"thank you" for making me look in the mirror that day. It changed my life...
So, I have to ask...
"What are you filling your life up with?" Well, that's what was keeping me awake... and now that I've gotten it off my chest... I'm sleepy... so, back to bed I go... where Ricky has probably finished sawing those trees...and maybe I'll fall back to sleep, down here in
French Lique...ps... sorry for messing up the sanctity of Wordless Wednesday... sometimes the words just can't wait..